Full Metal Panic: After the Raid
by my-other-car-is-the-ARX-7
Summary: Yeah, this is my retelling of what I want to happen after TSR, as I can only read DVMC and COMO, and not BOMF. You'll laugh, you'll cry, has an author's note and better summary. REVIEW. DO IT. ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. yep.
1. Author's Note

**Dramatis Personae**

Sousuke Sagara- M:16; serious, obsessed with safety, "military maniac"

Kaname Chidori- F:16; fun-loving, violent

Teletha "Tessa" Testarossa- F:16; captain of Tuatha de Danaan, obsessed with Sousuke

Melissa Mao- F:21 (I think); drinks, smokes, and beats the heck out of Kurz.

Kurz Weber- M:20; somewhat of a drunk but also a sniper (explain that one to me)

Kyoko Tokiwa- F:16; hyper young girl who takes pictures of everything

Shinji Kazama- M:16; one of Sousuke's friends, knows everthing about ASes

Ren Mikihara- F:17; Hyazimishu's aide, daughter of a mob boss.

Hyazimishu (if someone could tell me his first name that'd be great)- M:18; student council president who sympathizes with Sousuke on most matters.

Crew of TDD-1 that I don't feel like listing…

Students of Jindai High I don't want to list either…

**Author's Note**

This list is purely for the benefit of my teacher as this is a school project (my favorite thing (FMP) and my least favorite thing (school) in a beauteous relationship. Isn't love grand?). Much like the series, this fic will have a few serious episodes followed by a funny one to lighten the mood. These funny episodes will be in script format (Sousuke: blahblah etc.), but I may change that. It will start with 2-3 funny chapters just to warm up to writing a big story like this again (haven't in a while).Also, this story is intended to (temporarily) replace all the books after TSR, because Burning One Man Force is not in english yet. As I am fluent in only english and have only a mild understanding of ghetto (from all those times in the hizz-ood), Japanese is mostly incomprehensible for me. But hey, Brandi's translating them for free so I can't complain. Oh, and I don't own rights for: FMP, FMP Fumoffu, TSR, any of the books, manga, action figures, perfect scale resin sculptures, name rights, an office with a window, or a supermodel wife who married me for my 4.6 billion dollar life insurance policy that I don't have because I am not rich. That's my disclaimer, and if you don't like it, you can call my agent at 555-I-EAT-CAT and all your friends will laugh at you for calling an obviously fake number. Well, maybe it's not, I'm going to go try it. REVIEW PLEASE, I really like it when people read the stuff I write. I'm also a flame junkie, so feel free to rant about my incorrect use of semicolons and ellipses, but if you do you give me permission to proofread your stories. Just don't flame me about character behaviors, if it's way OOC there is a reason but I am the author so that's all up to me. Anyway, on with the story!

-walks away-

Leonard: you talk too much

Mocita(acronym from my name, pronounced mo-see-ta): AHHH! It's you! BAKA! You (spoiler removed) in TSR! I shall smite thee with pillars of fire from heaven!

pillars of fire melt leonard into a pool of molten condescending stupid idiot goo

Mocita: I feel goooood now. -beats up leonard's arastols with a roll of magic gift wrap and finishes walking away-

-APPLAUSE-


	2. Chapter 1

**Jindai High: 1500 hours**

"SOUSUKE!!!"

"Yes Miss Chidori?"

"Idiot! I told you to stop calling me that! Now explain this!"

"That hurt, Kaname."

"I don't freaking care! Explain! NOW!"

"I have attached these handcuffs to increase my protective capabilities. This also greatly aids my ability to protect you. I had intended it to be a surprise."

"You're missing the entire point." she said, exasperated- though she did find it charming that he wanted to protect her so badly. "Now just unlock these handcuffs and-"

"I cannot do that."

"WHY?"

"I seem to have, uh…" his face blanched and he cleared his throat, "misplaced the key."

"WHAT?"

---

**Sousuke's Apartment: 1900 hours**

(7 hacksaws, 43 swear words, and 14 fan whacks later…)

"Well at least I got them off…Those Israelis make some good product…"

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY WRIST!" Kaname had a bruise around her wrist where the handcuffs had tightened accidentally while Sousuke cut them off.

"It could have been worse-hang on…" he produced a satellite phone from who-knows-where, and he mumbled a series of yeses and affirmatives, his face growing whiter by the second.

"What is it?" Kaname asked him, genuinely concerned.

"The captain…she's coming for some more 'R and R'"

"Oh…that's…wonder..ful…Sousuke."

"She will arrive tomorrow. She insists on staying in my apartment again."

Kaname winced at the thought of having to fight over Sousuke, but came up with an idea.

_I know… I'll just have to make a move…the day after tomorrow…then I'll have him. Sure, blondie will have to cry herself to sleep a few nights, but she'll get over it._

"Hey, Sousuke, are you still eating jerky every day?"

"Affirmative."

"Why don't you come over the day after tomorrow for dinner. I'll make you a real meal."

"That sounds like a good idea. I will be able to protect you much better if I am better nou- GET DOWN!"

He grabbed her and pressed her to the ground pointing his gun at the intruder on the balcony, none other than the deadly.

"IT'S A SQUIRREL, IDIOT!"

"I apologize, I assumed a dwarf assassin."

"Is that even a real thing?"  
"You are far too naïve."

"Shut up. I'll see you at school tomorrow. Bye."

She left his apartment and crossed the street to her own building.

---

**Tuatha De Danaan: 2100 hours**

"Lalalalala…I get to see Mr. Sagara tomorrow. Oh, I must be the happiest girl alive."

Captain Teletha Testarossa danced-ok, fell- around her quarters as she packed for her 1 week shore leave. She had left everything in the capable hands of Mardukas, and was beaming with delight at her chance to see Sousuke. "I need to accelerate our relationship…I know! I'll make a move. The day after I get there…the day after tomorrow! Yay!" She fell over with excitement...or perhaps it was just clumsiness.

---------

**End Chapter 1**


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